dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
