I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
