Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
