I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
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