You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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