I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Randomize
