Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
