so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
