i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
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