why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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