I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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