Your dad touched me again.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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