Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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