fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
