Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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