Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
