Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
