what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize