Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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