It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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