We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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