at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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