my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Randomize