We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Randomize
