I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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