"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
