The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize