And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
