let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
