Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
