like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
No subtext here. People are naked.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Alive.
So much puke
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
