Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
