The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
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