nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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