yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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