What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
