I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
