I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
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