New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Randomize
