Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
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