Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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