I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Randomize
