Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
