problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Randomize