What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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