Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
