I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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