Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
