Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Damn victory sex feels great
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
