I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
