there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
