Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
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