My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I supernannyed him into submission
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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