Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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