my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Can vaginas get frostbite?
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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