Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Randomize
