Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
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