I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
