What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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