wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
