Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize